mvn
Posted June 20th, 2009 by mvn
Tags: Baseball, Detroit Tigers
1%

Game? What game? I see only this Curtis Granderson fellow.


photo by Samara Pearlstein

Curtis Granderson hit two home runs today! Wow! Did you see him do that? What a pretty swing, all graceful and smooth and… basebally. Two homers in the same game, yessiree, he did that very thing. Both of them came off of Todd Wellemeyer, ain’t that somethin’, I mean it is definitely a thing, which Curtis Granderson did.

Best to focus on Curtis Granderson’s TWO! HOME! RUNS!, because if we don’t we’ll start focusing on things like the fact that Tigers pitching actually wasn’t so bad in this one and they still lost, and the fact that they continue to commit errors when playing the Cardinals, and the fact that they lost, and will now be fighting to get a single lowly win in this series, and are losing in interleague when the Tigs have a history of being good in interleague play and LOOK AT CURTIS GRANDERSON, LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS TWO HOME RUNS, WHAT A FINE FELLOW THAT IS.

At least we did get something of an explanation for last night. I don’t think he was trying to blame the entire outing on it, but Verlander, according to Rod and Mario, said that he was suffering greatly from the heat and humidity in St. Louis. He wasn’t being a delicate flower either: note that Thursday’s get-away game is at night, which teams usually try to avoid because it makes travel more difficult/annoying. In this case they are playing at night because the weather during the day is so grotesque that they would have guys just lying down and dying right there on the field if they tried to play while the sun was high in the cruel Missouri sky.

But really have you looked at Curtis Granderson lately? Have you gazed upon his magnificence? He is currently leading the team in homers, you know (only one up on Brandon Inge, no word of a lie). Focus upon the soothing beauty of his face. Block everything else out. Save yourself.

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  Written by mvn

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